Abdulrahman Abdulrazaq: Playbook of Flatterers and Image Launders

By Dare Babatunde

How did Abdulrahman come up with this set of people? It is easy to say. Plutarch proposed that “everybody is himself his own foremost and greatest flatterer.” Therefore, the success of sycophancy as a profession in the state should be well understood and should no longer be subjected to scrutiny. Governor Abdulrahman Abdulrazaq loves himself, possesses this self-love that makes him an easy target and has impaired his judgement. Abdulrahman Abdulrazaq didn’t go to school, one would have recommended that he should read “How to tell a friend from a flatterer,” for the past three years he has employed praise singers (writers) than Ooni of Ife; they will almost tell you that the Governor successfully easing himself in the toilet is an achievement for the state.

Now, when you think about it, few months ago one Abdulsomad Olota purportedly dubbed one of the recent appointees Joseph Gobbel of Kwara. Although, the allocation of that adjective preceded the appointment. Initially, I felt such attribution was wrong, especially when you remember that the name brings painful memory of the Nazi Germany to the world. Unfortunately, as they say, leadership at times reveals one’s weaknesses than strength, stage and position at times make you open to criticism beyond your control. It is however quite regrettable that the writer was right and had pure foresight. While Joseph Gobbel is dubbed historically as the biggest sycophant in human history, what makes it worst is that he didn’t get to live his own life, but made efforts each day of his life to mould and adapt his life to suit that of Hitler, his principal.

Then enters the man who has mastered the “Playbook on flattering,” Sir. Bisi Kristien. He understood the assignment, look at his long needless essay in response to David Titiloye’s article. The disappointment that will grace the article from the Governor’s inner caucus can as well be imagined. This is why we campaign frantically to today’s youth not to waste their youths, just take a look at the Special Adviser on Community Engagement, does he inspire you? No!

You can tell that he considers the appointment his biggest win like many others, who see it as the peak of their success and already dismissed the possibility of losing the election. This is the issue with sycophancy, it gives you an exaggerated sense of intelligence and importance. You know a king praiser who gets the king’s attention will mistake himself for a chief. He is a renowned senior sycophant who thinks others are bittered on their appointment or perhaps want be in the mix. Congratulations on the appointment Sir. Bisi Kristien, at least you can’t imagine yourself earning such salary nor have you earned it in the past via any profession. The profession of sycophancy earned you this, you merit it. However, remember an undergraduate didn’t need decades to get there, and may perhaps find a larger purpose later in life. Unfortunately, you do not have the luxury of youth. The unintelligent manner of answering questions and managing public opinion is a serious indication of Abdulrazaq’s inability to inspire anybody around him. He is so uninspiring that the quality of his appointments and manner of management of issues by the appointees solidifies what was previously considered a suspicion to be actual fact.

Now that I recall, sometimes ago, the Chief Press Secretary to the Governor released a very lengthy article titled “Voting right to keep Kwara on path of steady growth,” he quoted Margaret Thatcher. Trust me, the CPS is different from the crop of other appointees, I admire him a lot. While others are largely unintelligent and does not translate to anything for the Governor, the CPS is half-intelligent. His consistency in finding space where there none is commendable. In 21st century, you can’t separately discuss growth without “development”, but Ajakaye in his usual culture will choose what is comfortable for him. Growth exists in stats and paper, while development is the reality. Denzel Washington once said “…do not confuse movement with progress..” The area of growth which is not visible is his comfortable zone of analysis and opinion writing, he has equally mastered the craft of manipulating history.

Ajakaye is doing one of the most difficult job in the world in all sincerity. I read a publication sometimes ago where he was advised that a CPS writing opinion is ridiculous, but how can Ajakaye help it? You want him to go and tell the Governor that he (Ajakaye) is doing a difficult job in redirecting public perception? Femi Adeshina started that trend and perhaps is Ajakaye’s mentor, what Adeshina has in loud mouth, Ajakaye converted it craft; so that if Adeshina is guilty of frequent bed wetting, Ajakaye can say “I only bed wet once in a while”.

Ajakaye was quick to bring Margaret Thatcher into his publication, forgetting that Margaret Thatcher studied Chemistry at Somerville College, Oxford. She worked briefly as a Research Chemist and eventually became a Barrister, meaning she equally studied law. Also, she had Masters in Arts. How can you bring such person into Abdulrahman Abdulrazaq’s discussion who has questionable certificate? Secondly, Thatcher during her administration as Prime Minister of United Kingdom promoted privatisation of state-owned companies. Privatisation is a manipulated topic under present government, it has been raped so many times and passed to so many masters. Yet, you find the lines used by Thatcher very instructive? Funny! Next time you need a reference, kindly find people like Taye Currency, even Saheed Osupa now has a degree in political science from University of Ibadan, he has left the WhatsApp group for the Governor.

There comes the fourth character in Abdulrazaq’s image laundering and flatterering playbook, the group that wholeheartedly embraced being called “Data Boys”, receiving stipends with all joy, and excitement. Our Daddy, Bisi Kristien was once in that category. Who can blame Sir. Bisi Kristen? Oh! Did I ask who Bisi Kristien is inspiring? Forgive me, it is this fourth character in the playbook, at least they’ve seen Baba’s elevation and can dream of better days. I want to appeal to all oppositions in the state, be compassionate and take it easy on these people. They have have the assignment of image laundering to carry out to justify their appointments. Else, the Governor may be depressed, at least let them sing for him, especially his favourites lullaby of being the best after Jesus Christ.

May the good Lord sustain Kwara, as characters in flatterers playbook continue to play their part….

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